The time i got 'arrested'

All of us enjoy sitcoms. they have long replaced playing and gaming as the favourite past time for college students. with so many sitcoms being churned out every year, i suppose that we have a never-ending source of entertainment available for us.

some shows are good. some interesting. but once in a while you come across a show which to put it lightly-' charms the fuck out of you', those are the shows which are GREAT! this is about a show i got 'arrested' to.

i got introduced to arrested development, just five days before my semester exams. the very fact that i finished 2 seasons in the next three days, would tell you how much i got hooked onto the show! as my sems were on, i realized that i wanted the exams to end soon, not because i wanted to go home, but because the third season was making my mouth water! i even got scared a few times when i found myself saying out my favourite lines as i was writing my exams!

now why did the show capture my imagination in this way? undoubtedly its a HILARIOUS show. but then there are many shows which make me laugh. i would like to think that the show achieves something which at the first instance strikes one as impossible, it makes all of us relate to a disgraced family of millionaires - rich pampered brats, knee deep in greed and jealousy!there in lies the charm. :) the eccentric nature of each character appeals to very same tendencies in us. everything from incest to corruption, we all know its there somewhere within us, the show just brings it out in the most amazing and hilarious way.

i loved every character. but the one character who blew my mind away was Dr. Tobias Funke. the perennial butt of all jokes, Funke manages to rise above the sea of pity and mirth he induces in the viewer, to actually 'inspire' us. just how many of us secretly harbor a fantasy? one we so rationally deem as crazed and impossible. well funke shows us what it to give voice to that fantasy, even if u dont realize how gay u are!

a tv show should not just entertain you, it must educate you and more importantly enhance you. that's what arrested development achieves in the most magnificent way. its such a pity that it had to be scrapped so early when pitiful attempts such as 90210 and bold and the beautiful have run for so long.

I cant wait for the movie, due in 2011!

Grandparents

People seldom realize the value of friends and loved ones when they are around. it is when they are cruelly snatched away from u, does the feeling of depravity and a sense of voidness sink in. i ignored, ridiculed and even fought with the one person who had absolutely no problems in accepting that i was the best guy in the whole frikking world. she simply took in all my bullshit and still managed to boost my ego a bit more. we all need people like that. lets cherish them when they are around to see that! lets take better care of our grandparents! :)

The realm of the Pauper.

everyone sets out a path for his or her life. what they seek to achieve five, ten or twenty years down the line. what they deem interesting and worthwhile and what they deem uninteresting and yearn to avoid,but few achieve any of that. this is a fact of life. many, end up spending their life oiling the official wheel, carrying notes and making reports for the people who matter. life becomes a constant state of failure and the very item of their interest once becomes a source of hatred. one that reminds of the life that could have been. that is how the soulless, joyless and lifeless 40 year old is born.

at the end of yet another event-less day, as he puts his head down on the pillow, the eyes close but the mind recharges. the tired limbs cry for rest but the soul beams of delight! as he slips into sleep, the mind leaps high in the air and plunges into the sea of the subconscious, into that wondrous realm where the 'could-haves' become the truth. where the clerk becomes the MD, the servant the master. as the mind weaves its intricate lines of deceit, the body sighs in pleasure. the short, the plump and the ugly transform, evolve and emerge tall, strong and handsome. the decaying second hand car transforms into a royal Rolls Royce. the 750 sqft home with a mortgage, into a palace which is so big that it blocks the horizons. everything is new, fresh and for a change, beautiful. the dreamers eyes roll rapidly, unable to contain its delight at all the new and glorious sights!

but the mind is no philanthropist. it craves revenge. for in this realm it is the dreamer who reigns supreme. those who humiliated Him in the outside world shall be punished in this world. the punishments are cruel. gruesome. as the MD's genitals get pierced by a hundred thousand needles and his eyes plucked out by gargoyles, the dreamer smiles and his partner lying beside him, sleepless due to anxiety wonders how kiddish he looks when he sleeps and kisses his forehead.

the journey through sleep continues.. we approach large doors, intricately carved with tulips which seem so real that the guards seem scared to approach them for fear of retribution from the Master. the doors open. we step inside. we are inside His home.

the walls adorned with paintings, their beauty divine. our eyes catch a glimpse of that Lady who's smile knows everything. Only the Master could have conjured such magic.

now the statues by the sides, all of the same person, the Master. Him, in his regal robes, with his sword by the side, the face wearing a grim look, rubies shining in his eyes and his crown, studded with lapis lazuli. Him, in his hunter robes, the tiger dead under his Royal Feet. Him, the family man, with His Son in His arms. Him, the creator of everything wonderful, with the lamp, just one of everything that He has created. Him, the destructor, with the garland of his school peer's heads adorning His elegant neck. the statues end and we approach the Fountain.

the Fountain of Wonders. the place where the Master likes to spend His evenings, in careful contemplation of matters pertaining to the governance of His ever -growing realm. the air is filled with a sweet noise, a song which seems to stir even the swans in the Fountain into a dance. it is said that the Master wrote this 'Swan song' solely for them. we should be careful not to touch the waters with our feet, the Master does not like that. we cross the fountain and reach the Elephant Gate, the doors beyond which sits the Master of all that is real in this unreal realm. He Who's kindness know no bounds and His wrath, no limits. We enter. heads on the ground, sniffing the earth without making a noise. we eventually lift our heads and find ourselves not inside the Elephant Chambers, but facing a ravine. an endless pit which reeks of rotting flesh and our ears are engulfed by the cries of feasting vultures. we smile. the Master has spoken and in this realm, even our thoughts are His. we run towards that bottomless crater. faster and faster and leap into the air, ready to get consumed by a bed of rocks and then by a sea of vultures.. but we land, lightly on a bed of roses. we look around. unable to understand His thoughts. the roses are divine. their smell is so thick that a halo of their smell surrounds everything. the smell is stronger than the wafts of opium He alone enjoys every night. we fall, unconscious, but we rise again only to fall after a few steps. but we never cease to walk forwards. we walk.

aimless, clueless, lost.

after ages, the halo shifts, the smell subsides. the roses grow bigger and bigger till they become trees. filled with roses and apples. it seems so absurd, but it is His vision. as suddenly as it started, we see the horizon.

we have reached the end of the world. it just stops. like a springboard. nothign beyond but abyss. who said the earth was round?

we stare, uncertainly, this is not to be. His realm knows no boundaries. we hesitate but bring ourselves to run again towards the end of the world! faster and faster and we leap. the moment our feet leaps the ground ,we get engulfed by a light. brighter and more radiant than a million glowing suns, yet more tender than a million blooming tulips. we fall into Him faster and faster... finally an audience with Him!

the dreamer startles awake. the beads of perspiration on his head, the only remnant of His world. his alarm screams 7 am. he drudges into the bathroom and wears the disguise for the next 16 hours. a disguise which will shield Him from these unreal people. he drives to work, through the dusty and clogged roads. he enters the MD's office. the MD is ready for him. he looks at his MD's face, contorted with anger and the MD starts with the usual barrage of insults. his eyes fall on the box of needles on the desk and He smiles.

April 16th 2010

Now, its been too long.

A blog that is not updated is like an unfed street dog. its unimportant enough to ignore, yet loud enough to prove irksome.

so here i am, continuing my online journal of the haphazard, the unusual and the useless.

now, where do i begin?

well today was a pretty hectic day, enough classes to keep me in a state of subconsciousness for the better part of the day( double hour microprocessors first up, screamed of danger. a warning i ignored much to my peril).

anyhow.. after surviving that. next up was control systems viva/assignment. after a two hour delay, thanks to the prof socializing with the director, i was finally ushered into his office.

'hello aditya'

'good afternoon sir'

'did you have lunch today'

(baffled)'....? yes sir...'

'good'

( roll name viva(/10)

( 11 aditya venkataraman 10

'?!!!!!!!!!!!'

'*&^%'

:)

talk abt a lucky break?

sadly, life has this rather annoying way of putting u down just when it starts to stink a little less.

my luck was about to end right there.

room. i pack my bags to leave for home.(for my new readers, i live in trichy now...... ya thats right, i am local now......you can stop laughing now :( )

the bus.

that demonic four limbed gargoyle filled with everything nasty and bad.

about that bad bad bus, in the next epidose.

adios for now. may the force be with you and let u catch a break like me >)

The day i almost found the sherlock in me part 2 (read part 1 first)

I climb. one step at a time. my phone screen reads 100. my thumb on the green call button. As they old say, "its always better to be prepared".

i had reached the last step, i turn to my right and my left expecting lizards to fall on my immensely attractive frame.

i see only a Panicker Travels office. my mother and my sister quickly enter one of the cloth shops at the end of a corridor. i decide to give up the relative safety of the shop and look around. the place was dinghy. one of those places where the wall-paper has "this is crime zone" watermarks.

i walk along the left corridor. my hands in my pocket and casually whistling a melody. ( i cannot whistle, but i was trying very hard!!). as they teach in school, to play it cool is the whole point.

i casually peek through the shop windows. An angry female face greets me back. i quickly look away. then i realized that i was peeking into a lingeree boutique. (funny how the mind works!)

there was a beauty parlor, a gift shop, a couple of travel agencies and a chinese feng shui shop. i was just about the give the place a clean chit, when i saw two young men.

two 'chinese' young men.

two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans.

two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes.

two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style.

two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style and 2 wristbands.

two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style and 2 wristbands and a dog chain.

"two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style and 2 wristbands and a dog chain!!!!!!"

Cmon people! Even a blind dude can see they have drugs written all over them!

This place had to be some sort of a vital link in an international drug chain running from china to india and then to europe. imagine good ol' Prince Plaza on Pantheon road, egmore being responsible for the destruction of millions of young people across the world!

my "its time to get cracking" vein was about to explode.

i had to save millions of young lives in europe. the girls there are too hot to die of drug abuse!

i follow the two guys. i am sure they were the personal body guards of a drug overlord who i am sure lived in the top floor of that building. someone's gotta meet the lion in the eye!

i follow them. they start climbing the stairs. why climb the stairs when the place has got lifts? the only reason could be that they were suspecting the cops of placing recording devices in these lifts by means of which they can eavesdrop on all the drug-talk.

i move in closer. i HAVE to eavesdrop on the drug talk.

i catch a few words. i hear green somewhere. hah! green ->plant -> weed ->marijuana!

i also hear drink somewhere. simple! drink->cold drink->coca cola->coke->cocaine!!

i hear shah rukh. Elementary, My dear watson! Shah Rukh->Hero->heroin!!!

it looked like i had stumbled upon the drug capital of asia!

i follow them up the stairs. they stop at the fourth floor, the employee residence area. i must not be seen there. i crouch behind a board. i have to have a plan.

i quickly go over my plan. all indications were pointing towards a possible multi-million dollar drug deal taking place right here. i had to catch the whole thing on my 3.2 megapixel Nokia camera and then fly to the police station across the street and help the cops nab these criminals. then of course there would be a national award, a few advertisements, a movie, a few talk shows, Internet sensation....life will be good. :)

my intense planning was disrupted by the sound of a door opening. i quickly take out my phone and start the camera.

a lady walks out.

a 'Chinese' lady walks out.

a 'chinese' lady walks out wearing a red t shirt and denim bermuda.

a 'chinese' lady walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.

a pretty 'chinese' lady walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.

a pretty 'chinese' lady with awesome stuff walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.

a pretty 'chinese' lady with awesome stuff smelling of the lady equivalent of "Axe Chocolate"walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.

there are moments in life when some hard decisions have to be taken. decisions which will influence our lives forever. decisions which we will look back at on our death-bed when the imaginary noose is being tightened. decisions which will be celebrated and spat at simultaneously. decisions which act as a door between two extreme possibilities. possibilities which promise so much. It all depends on which way we swing the door. push or pull. push or pull. push or pull. thats all it boils down to.

this was one such moment in my life.

the beautiful girl with a nice backside or busting an international crime racket worth millions of dollars and thereby saving the lives of millions of youngsters!

the beautiful girl with a nice backside who walks with a most delightful swagger or the international drug people.

the beautiful girl with that tight red awesome shirt and with a nice backside who walks with a most delightful swagger or solving crime.

the beautiful girl with that tight red awesome shirt and with a nice backside who walks with a most delightful swagger and who could notice my most attractive self or some ....what was i doing there?

i get up and run behind the girl.

she was nowhere to be found.

so folks, that was the day i almost discovered the sherlock holmes in me. my logical reasoning, my fearless approach to combating crime and my dogged persistence amaze me even now. but it was destroyed by a girl.

a beautiful girl.

a beautiful 'chinese' girl.

a beautiful ' chinese' girl with a nice backside.

!@$#@$

don't get me started on that again!!