Sunday, July 5, 2009

The day i almost found the sherlock in me part 2 (read part 1 first)


I climb. one step at a time. my phone screen reads 100. my thumb on the green call button. As they old say, "its always better to be prepared".

i had reached the last step, i turn to my right and my left expecting lizards to fall on my immensely attractive frame.
i see only a Panicker Travels office. my mother and my sister quickly enter one of the cloth shops at the end of a corridor. i decide to give up the relative safety of the shop and look around. the place was dinghy. one of those places where the wall-paper has "this is crime zone" watermarks.
i walk along the left corridor. my hands in my pocket and casually whistling a melody. ( i cannot whistle, but i was trying very hard!!). as they teach in school, to play it cool is the whole point.

i casually peek through the shop windows. An angry female face greets me back. i quickly look away. then i realized that i was peeking into a lingeree boutique. (funny how the mind works!)
there was a beauty parlor, a gift shop, a couple of travel agencies and a chinese feng shui shop. i was just about the give the place a clean chit, when i saw two young men.
two 'chinese' young men.
two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans.
two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes.
two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style.
two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style and 2 wristbands.
two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style and 2 wristbands and a dog chain.
"two 'chinese' young men wearing green v neck t shirts and extraordinarily faded jeans and white sports shoes and a weird spiky hair style and 2 wristbands and a dog chain!!!!!!"

Cmon people! Even a blind dude can see they have drugs written all over them!
This place had to be some sort of a vital link in an international drug chain running from china to india and then to europe. imagine good ol' Prince Plaza on Pantheon road, egmore being responsible for the destruction of millions of young people across the world!
my "its time to get cracking" vein was about to explode.
i had to save millions of young lives in europe. the girls there are too hot to die of drug abuse!
i follow the two guys. i am sure they were the personal body guards of a drug overlord who i am sure lived in the top floor of that building. someone's gotta meet the lion in the eye!

i follow them. they start climbing the stairs. why climb the stairs when the place has got lifts? the only reason could be that they were suspecting the cops of placing recording devices in these lifts by means of which they can eavesdrop on all the drug-talk.
i move in closer. i HAVE to eavesdrop on the drug talk.

i catch a few words. i hear green somewhere. hah! green ->plant -> weed ->marijuana!
i also hear drink somewhere. simple! drink->cold drink->coca cola->coke->cocaine!!
i hear shah rukh. Elementary, My dear watson! Shah Rukh->Hero->heroin!!!

it looked like i had stumbled upon the drug capital of asia!

i follow them up the stairs. they stop at the fourth floor, the employee residence area. i must not be seen there. i crouch behind a board. i have to have a plan.

i quickly go over my plan. all indications were pointing towards a possible multi-million dollar drug deal taking place right here. i had to catch the whole thing on my 3.2 megapixel Nokia camera and then fly to the police station across the street and help the cops nab these criminals. then of course there would be a national award, a few advertisements, a movie, a few talk shows, Internet sensation....life will be good. :)

my intense planning was disrupted by the sound of a door opening. i quickly take out my phone and start the camera.

a lady walks out.
a 'Chinese' lady walks out.
a 'chinese' lady walks out wearing a red t shirt and denim bermuda.
a 'chinese' lady walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.
a pretty 'chinese' lady walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.
a pretty 'chinese' lady with awesome stuff walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.
a pretty 'chinese' lady with awesome stuff smelling of the lady equivalent of "Axe Chocolate"walks out wearing a red t shirt and "tight" denim bermuda.

there are moments in life when some hard decisions have to be taken. decisions which will influence our lives forever. decisions which we will look back at on our death-bed when the imaginary noose is being tightened. decisions which will be celebrated and spat at simultaneously. decisions which act as a door between two extreme possibilities. possibilities which promise so much. It all depends on which way we swing the door. push or pull. push or pull. push or pull. thats all it boils down to.
this was one such moment in my life.
the beautiful girl with a nice backside or busting an international crime racket worth millions of dollars and thereby saving the lives of millions of youngsters!
the beautiful girl with a nice backside who walks with a most delightful swagger or the international drug people.
the beautiful girl with that tight red awesome shirt and with a nice backside who walks with a most delightful swagger or solving crime.
the beautiful girl with that tight red awesome shirt and with a nice backside who walks with a most delightful swagger and who could notice my most attractive self or some ....what was i doing there?

i get up and run behind the girl.
she was nowhere to be found.

so folks, that was the day i almost discovered the sherlock holmes in me. my logical reasoning, my fearless approach to combating crime and my dogged persistence amaze me even now. but it was destroyed by a girl.
a beautiful girl.
a beautiful 'chinese' girl.
a beautiful ' chinese' girl with a nice backside.
!@$#@$
don't get me started on that again!!

1 comment:

  1. oh my!!!
    av
    u have the talent in you to direct "MEGA SERIALS":):):)!!!

    ReplyDelete